I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
