Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just want to make out with him forever
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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