I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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