You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think my moral compass just broke
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
