you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
