I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
