the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
