so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
