i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
it was like eating out sand paper
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
