just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
