whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize