Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
