would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
