Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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