she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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