Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
