WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
