I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
