I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
