Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
