I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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