I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if only i could text you this smell
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
