We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The dick lei will go down in squad history
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
