i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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