I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
