Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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