dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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