batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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