I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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