Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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