Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
