he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
do herpes really smell.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
