I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
