I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize