I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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