Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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