I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
