NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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