Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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