...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
