You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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