He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
