If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
