I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im part way to drunk.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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