I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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