you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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