True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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