quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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