look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
