You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
