you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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