Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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