Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
