Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
