I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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