Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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