question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
