Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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