i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
