I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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