Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
3pm strippers are depressing
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
