420 ftw
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
