It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
