I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
