Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
