I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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