Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
